Six Pick: Week Four

BCO's College Football TV Viewing Guide

Week 4 is upon us, and it's another good one. It's heavy on southern football teams with five of the six games featuring at least one team from below the Mason-Dixon Line. One game has my attention because of what might happen before it, as much as during it. I admit it, I would give my left nut to hear the titillating conversation between the Mad Hatter and Stewey when they speak at midfield before the game. I can only guess, but I think it would go something like this...

Well gol-ley Lyle, there's a lot of people here, haven't even had a battery thrown my way yet.

What pantywaist let's that shit happen? I'd beat some ass.

Extends fist for pound.

Blank stare. Lifts cap, wipes away sweat from forehead.

Hell if I know Lance? I wish eers standin' to my back would stop trying to throw them across the field. They keep hittin' my head.

Removes his cap, shows knots.

Damn! And I thought these drunk Cajuns were a handful. You must make a lot of bread to take that abuse.

Awkward silence...

I gotta say, I like how you managed your timeouts during that Marshall comeback. How'd you know when to call 'em?

Easy Lex, see Devine over there, he's got a couple of kids. We let 'em on the bench. Well... whenever I look over and see one gone, I call a timeout so we can go find 'em.

Deep thought for a split second.

Good idea, my kids get bored when we're on offense and...

A confused looking Gary Crowton bumbles over to interrupt the conversation.

Excuse me coach, I need help again.

Frantically flips though a thin playbook pointing at diagrams.

I can't remember what comes first: the one-yard up the gut, bubble screen for loss, or the botched pass where Jordan Jefferson runs for his life and gets sacked...

Shakes his head.

Damn it Gary, can't you see I'm talking strategics here? I told you, we run it up the middle twice, so they don't expect the pass on 3rd and long! Gotta go Stew.

K Lars...

Shakes Miles' hand.

I'm gunna go meet Tony the Tiger, see ya after the game.

Whistles while singing.

Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggety dog, We're splitting the scene, We're full of beans, hot dog, HOT DOG!^*

Ok, well, I don't think Gary Crowton would interrupt the two. He would just do rock paper scissors against himself to choose the play, like usual.

Let the games begin...

Thursday, September 23rd

da U -3 at Pitt 7:30 pm ESPN

(photo by Elizabeth Caren)

I get it, I do. I know the opinion of both the ACC and the Big East is so low in the collective minds of college football fans that a win by either team will not resonate at all outside patrons of those two conferences. However, this can be a building block for the winner. Yes, it's grasping and not worth bragging about, but I can tell you this, I would rather say my conference isn't the fucking worst out there. At this point it's about small victories. The game will be a sell out, it will be loud, Wannstache will get his players to play hard and possibly even well. Randy Shannon needs this win for himself and da U, which means he needs Jacory Harris not to throw a hundred interceptions and for his defense to start playing to their potential in big games.

What to look for: The Panthers to come out inspired and laying it on the Canes early. Miami weathering the storm and making a game of it in the second half. The 4th quarter is decided by which team keeps their shit together best, or just as likely which team screws the pooch less. Keep an eye on Jenn Brown's sideline "reporting," just in case the game gets tough to watch.

Pick: da U to win by a touchdown or more.

Saturday, September 25th

VT at bc +4 noon ACC Network

Time for the most physical ACC football series since expansion, Eagles versus Hokies. Right now the advantage squarely rests with the home team (4-1 since '05). Last week versus the physically overmatched, less experienced Pirates VT showed signs of life. This game and the work week prep leading up to it couldn't be more different. bc is a physical, disciplined and defensive oriented squad. With 13 days rest bc will be very prepared for Beamer's boys and normally I would say that is an insurmountable advantage for them. However, last week's win for the Hokies may have jump started the season, giving the young guys the confidence to win on the road.

What to look for: Has the VT defense turned the corner, not just on tackling and playing more physical but has Bud come to trust this young group? Will he turn them loose with his concoction of blitzes and coverages? If bc sells out against the run, will the Hokie offense still try to hammer away even though numbers game and advantage will be in the passing attack?

Pick: I hate going against the home dog that is talented, well coached and has had two weeks to prepare. bc. Damnit, that hurts.

bammer -7 at Arkansas 3:30 pm CBS

Alabama-Arkansas, it is going to be a game of intensity and power versus speed and gadgetry. All of Bobby Petrino's character flaws, which are a metric shit ton, don't hold him back from being a helluva offensive mind. However, I will ask again, does Arkansas have enough defense to be kings of the west? I do know one team that has both an explosive offense and stifling defense. The Tide may have some secondary weaknesses that the Razorbacks will key on, but you know Saban will adjust during the game and find a way to diminish the damage done. The way to mitigate the impact of Petrino's passing attack is make Ryan Mallet's 6'7" frame move in the pocket or take short 3-step drops. Queue defensive end Marcel Dareus. Now that he is back from his two game suspension for being friends with Marvin Austin, the Tide defense goes to that proverbial next level.

What to look for: Offensive and defensive line domination by the Tide. Nick Saban's team is not going to bullshit around. He isn't going to let some upshot smug asshole not named Urban Meyer beat him. The Razorbacks offense isn't going to be completely Dook'd, they will get some yardage and points, but not a lot. They will spend most of the game on the sidelines watching seven minute drives powered by Ingram and Richardson.

Pick: I think Bama shit-houses Hog Sooey.

South Cackalacki +2.5 at Auburn 7:45 pm ESPN

To avoid rehashing my love for Spurrier or Malzahn, or the $EC's second place race I will say this: without any hype or bullshit, this is the game of the evening. It will be a competitive, down to the wire, punch some one in the mouf brand of football that the $EC routinely delivers. These are the games that squeeze their own juice.

What to watch for: Forget the offensive wizardry by the two teams, this is about which team's stud makes the opposition's D submit? Super frosh RB Marcus Lattimore is averaging 111 yards at 5 yards a clip and almost 2 touchdowns a game. Auburn's 6'6" 260 lb QB Cam Newton is passing for 175 and running for another 100 yards a game with 9 touchdowns. The offenses go through these guys. The best part is they are both physical. They would rather freight-train and knock the piss out of defenders than elude them.

Pick: I believe in the Ole Ball Coach.

theothertOSU at Boise State -17 8:00 pm ABC

The Broncos are going to win and do so going away on Saturday, because they have to for any kind of respect. After that win, we the fans are going to have to choose, the blue or the red pill. BSU will want us to take the blue pill, where the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe what Boise wants you to believe: they are a top three team. Bill Hancock will want us to take the red pill, where you stay in BCS-land, and he shows you how deep the rabbit hole goes... It's your choice... Which pill do you want?

What to look for: Boise State to be prepared, execute extremely well and play with intensity. They know a win here means a Coaches' Poll collusion may be the only thing stopping their trip to Arizona. Oregon State's QB, Ryan Katz will have to win, not manage the game for the Beavers to pull the upset; a tall task.

Pick: That's a lot of points, but you know Peterson will lay on thick if he can.

w-Fn-vu +8.5 at LSU 9:00 pm ESPN2

Inspired by a few 140 character Twitter conversations blaming LSU's Offensive Coordinator Gary Crowton for the lack of offense and all the monies due Head Coach Les Miles, I've decided Miles will not be fired. Barring a complete implosion the Mad Hatter will be in Baton Rouge to start the 2011 season. Cheers all around at the LSU coaches' office, not so fast there Gary. The likelihood Miles throws you under the bus to save himself is climbing. If the Crowton offense gets shut down by the neer 3-3-5 stack defense, I think it is safe to assume his hot seat is literally one of Morgantown's plaid-est, comfiest couches.

What to look for: How good is Geno Smith? His last six quarters of play have been nothing short of amazing, but that was at home against Marshall and Maryland. Saturday night in Death Valley, is an entirely different animal. Can LSU's All-American CB Patrick Peterson win another game all by himself? I expect the neers to see if Jordan Jefferson can beat them, giving him all kinds of weird zone looks.

Pick: I think LSU wins a close one, 8.5 is too much to give the eers.

Beer of the week from my fireproofed couch: Harpoon Leviathan Imperial IPA

Big Malts, Big Hops & and Big ABV (10%), it's a damn good east coast Imperial IPA from Beantown.

*Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Hot Dog song