Miami ADD

We play Miami tomorrow. Are you excited? I am. I have been since the clock in Kenan showed '00:00'. Why? If you need to ask that, just move along.

Things you can muck:

• A hand of cards when all you see is deuce ten pathetically staring back at you.
• A pair of kicks when running across a muddy Drillfield during a driving rain after barring at 2:00am.
• (up) Life. I frequently do this.
• Fiami.

Or around these parts you can straight up say fuck Miami.

This is how my brain pictures Miami football:

Fuck that mental image.

The best part of having him inhabit my grey matter is after the game I get to send him down a deep, long, dark hole outfitted with two foot spikes at the bottom–think Mortal Kombat.

Everyone is picking us to lose this game. I don't really understand that, I mean our strategy at this point is simply unstoppable.

2010 Game Plan - Revision 2 - 9/12/10*

1. Win the toss.
2. Defer the ball until the second half.
3. Putz around on offense and give up several scores–one big play, one sustained drive.
4. Win the game.
5. Bourbon.

*Acquired from inside sources connected with Beamer Co.

You can argue for Miami any way you want. They've got home field advantage, even though the Orange Bowl, err Miami Gardens, will only be sparsely populated with their fans. Stephen Morris protects the ball better than Jacory Harris; his touchdown to interception ration is 1:1. They run the ball efficiently. We've given up yards on the ground all year long. They'll be able to pressure Tyrod. Don't you know the offensive line is grading out 90%+ across the board?

Yes it's going to be a tough game, but why do I think we're going to win? To adapt a quote from Geno Auriemma–we have Tyrod, and they don't.