Your ACC Football/Game of Thrones Mashup

Editor's Note: Bumped to the front because I love this show (haven't read the books) and it's an amazing effort by Wartooh.

Season Three of Game of Thrones is well underway and the Virginia Tech Spring Game is this Saturday. Let's stretch some analogies! As the ACC expands its ranks to 14 teams this season, we find more than a few parallels.

House Targaryen - Virginia Tech

Words: Fire and Bud

Ruled the land year after year. Problems at the top (Mad King, play-calling coaches) spurred an uprising that ultimately made the Lannisters/FSU the most powerful house around. Currently regathering strength with new allies in preparation to retake the throne. (Targaryen sigil and the Fighting Gobbler are an easy match. Targobbleran?)

House Lannister - Florida State

Words: Hear Our Tiresome War Chant
Alt: A Seminole Always Pays Its Recruits

Crimson/garnet and gold, other houses hate the Lannisters, suspecting them of foul play or dubious methods, but they are always feared and respected. Their name is synonymous with money and profit. Their noble houses/fans are loyal in good times, but have been known to switch allegiances when the weather turns foul.

House Stark - Miami

Words: Sanctions are Coming

Long tradition/history, once a threat, recently in disarray. Ned would approve of self-imposing a bowl ban for the sake of honor. ***Spoiler*** {{{Everyone}}}{{{aghast}}}{{{at their}}}{{{dismantling}}}{{{by next}}}{{{house}}}

House Frey - UVA

Words: The Freys have no words cited in the books to this point, so let's say "something something Thomas Jefferson something LAX something bro something trust fund something Jefferson again"

An old house that relies on its inherited resources to gain friends and allegiances. Freys are tedious company, spiteful, prideful, and resentful of being seen as a lesser or lower house. Their inflated sense of self-importance makes them more likely to namedrop and to take offense to slights, implied or real.

House Baratheon - Clemson

Words: Ours is the Furry

Talented usurpers. Led by men with mercurial tempers. In heated contention with the Lannisters/Florida State for supremacy.

House Greyjoy - Pitt

Words: Be Mar-i-no [ed: shut up]

Making their home on the water, in unforgiving weather conditions, this house is reputed for its gritty, workmanlike attitude. They pay the Iron Price. They may not be particularly liked. They may not be particularly strong. But every now and then they put it all together and make others take notice.

The Night's Watch - Boston College

Make their home in cold, inhospitable conditions. Populated by people with little other recourse. Characterized by a large, imposing line. Northernmost ACC school except for...

The Wildlings - Syracuse

An old threat to the Watch/Boston College, come again in new force. Sure to give fight to their immediate rival, but no one south of the Wall really cares or pays much attention.

House Tyrell - North Carolina

Words: [redacted, pending NCAA investigation]

Have all the tools to be a major force - resources, personnel, history. Both Highgarden and Chapel Hill are lovely. Each has been known to get into bed with evil forces in pursuit of power (Butch Davis, Joffrey), creating major headaches for both.

House Martell - NC State

Words: Bowed, Bent, Broken

I can say whatever I want here and 9/10 of you will take it as gospel because you haven't read the books. Get on that. Suffice to say, NC State football : UNC football :: Martell : Tyrell

House Arryn - Duke

Words: High Honor and SATs

Blue and white, mostly toothless, so much potential, but lack the leadership and talent to make them a powerful force [ed: in fairness, I love Cutcliffe]

House Tully - Wake Forest

Words: Family, Duty, Honor

See how I didn't even change the words? The words are noble in purpose, sure, but ultimately boring. They don't stir up anything. They're pretty generic. They're not threatening. Even their sigil is a fish. And not like a shark or a barracuda. It's a trout. Yadda Yadda Yadda Wake Forest.

House Bolton - Georgia Tech

Words: Our Blocks are Chops

The flexbone offense and flaying men alive are both very unusual, unsophisticated, methodical, and effective modes of assault. Both Paul Johnson and Roose Bolton are skilled strategists. Neither Paul Johnson nor Roose Bolton GAF.

"Oh, but where's Maryland?" you may ask. You know what, Maryland? You're the Bloody Mummers. Sellswords bolting old alliances for the highest bidder. You look ridiculous. No one really takes you seriously. Put white columns and red brick on burned-out Harrenhal and it would blend into College Park. [ed: as a VT4SEC proponent, I admit most of this vitriol comes from jealousy]

Anyway, no photoshop for departing schools. I'm sure there's some Michigan or Buckeye geek ready to shop Randy Edsall into Shagwell's motley (shouldn't be hard, given Maryland's ridiculous uniforms). Good luck to him or her.