Recruiting by the Names

Editor's Note: Because we all could use a little humor on Friday.

Micheal Holmes : Devastating hook, can be slow with the jab and lacks a go-to combination

Kevin Asante: Too much velour

Dimitri Knowles: Cossack prick

Robert Lockhart: Rocket Lockhart? Lockhart Rocket? Robhart Locket? You decide

Christian Reeves: Seriously?

Jake Goins: Will immediately compete for best legs on team

Chris Hall: Screams ‘intangibles’

Ryan Malleck: Walking Axe commercial

Darius Redman: Legitimate shot at making 1st team all Wu-Tang Clan as a freshman

Kris Harley: Must’ve sucked growing up in a commune

Luther Maddy: Fantastic tenor, no question who’ll be leading the team in ‘Ain’t No Mountain High Enough”

Corey Marshall: Child star, look for him to pick up a drug problem and flame out by junior year

Dewayne Alford: Will struggle to make friends after butler drops him off in a Maybach

Matt Roth: Prefers 0.5mm lead to 0.7, but lead is a misnomer isn’t it? (Chuckles to himself)

Wedley Estime: Your girlfriend… well let’s just say you’re on a break

Micheal Cole: Unlikely to live up to the sheer boredom his name portends

Ronny VanDyke: YOUR NICKNAME SHALL BE SCISSORS

James Farrow: Football IQ through the roof, love this kid’s motor, proven winner

Adeboye Aromire: David Wilson, your fashion just met its match

Kyshoen Jarrett: Senior superlative: Most likely to punch you in the face