COACH BEAMER'S FAVORITE SAUCE

via: @Nik_A_Bando | "...AND SEND A KID TO CAMP."**

DRINK A 1/5 BOTTLE OF COACH BEAMER'S FAVORITE SAUCE TO CLEAR YOUR INSIDES OUT, AIN'T NO MORE STRAINING AFTER THIS BLEND OF CHILIS, HERBS AND SOY GOES DOWN;

IT KILLS ANTS;

APPLY A NICKLE-SIZED AMOUNT OF COACH BEAMER'S FAVORITE SAUCE TO BLEMISHES, CUTS, SCRAPES, BRUISES, BLOODY NOSES, BROKEN BONES, CHAPPED LIPS OR LIGAMENT TEARS TO SPEED UP THE HEALING PROCESS;

BRING OUT THAT DEEP, RICH, ORIGINAL FEEL FROM YOUR HARD FURNITURE WITH COACH BEAMER'S FAVORITE SAUCE;

GOT A TOUGH STAIN ON YOUR FAVORITE SUIT? DAB A LITTLE BIT OF COACH BEAMER'S FAVORITE SAUCE ON YOUR LINENS, HOLD WITH WATER, THEN DAB A LITTLE MORE TO CLEAN LIKE NEW;

COACH BEAMER'S FAVORITE SAUCE CAN LUBE UP THAT SQUEAKY BIKE WHEEL;

IT'LL BOND ANYTHING!;

DID YOUR KID COME HOME WITH GUM IN HIS/HER HAIR? LATHER WITH COACH BEAMER'S FAVORITE SAUCE AND RINSE TWICE;

COACH BEAMER'S FAVORITE SAUCE--NEVER RUN OUT OF FUEL AGAIN;

THAT OLD CATCHERS MITT LYING AROUND THE GARAGE TIGHTEN UP OVER THE WINTER? SQUIRT A LITTLE OF COACH BEAMER'S FAVORITE SAUCE IN THE PALM AND MASH IT IN WITH YOUR FIST TO LOOSEN IT UP;

WHO FARTED? FRESHEN UP THAT MUSTY ROOM SMELL WITH JUST A SPRAY OF COACH BEAMER'S FAVORITE SAUCE.

** From treserfamilyfoods.com: Ten percent (10%) of our profits go to sending underprivileged kids to camp. We currently sponsor two camps: Camp Alta Mons, Shawsville, VA and Rockbridge - A YoungLife camp in Goshen, VA.