Halfwits and Wagers Is Ready To Exorcise The Deacons

It was another banner week for the new-look Virginia Tech football program, one that — at least temporarily — has shed the famed lunchpail in favor of a fearsome rushing attack that has bullied its way to 300+ yards on the ground in 3 of 4 games to start the year. It was a slightly less stellar showing for one member of the Halfwits crew (guess who?), with Joey maintaining a modest lead heading into Wake Forest week.

Joey's Record Last Week (& Season Total): 4-3 (15-13-1)
The Fifth Fuller's Record Last Week (& Season Total): 2-5 (12-15-1)

Without further ado, on to the lines!

Over / Under: 140 rushing yards for Khalil Herbert

Joey: The Khalil Herbert for Heisman train plowed straight ahead against Boston College, even if folks around ACC circles seem to be the only ones taking notice.

Most rush yards thru 4 games (ACC, last decade):1 James Conner, 2014 - 6992 Khalil Herbert, 2020 - 5923 Dalvin Cook, 2015 - 5704 Lamar Jackson, 2016 - 5265 TaQuon Marshall, 2017 - 5236 David Wilson, 2011 - 5167 Lamar Miller, 2011 - 5118 Andre Williams, 2013 - 505— 💫🅰️♈️🆔 (@ADavidHaleJoint) October 19, 2020

So yeah, sharing the top 4 with two top-tier NFL running backs and the reigning NFL MVP (who also has a Heisman) seems...good! Throw in a porous Wake Forest defensive front and the highest Virginia Tech vs. anyone total in recent memory, and I see no reason to bet on anything other than Khalil Herbert doing Khalil Herbert things.

Over.

The Fifth Fuller: Wake Forest is not great at keeping the opponent from running very far with the ball. While they held (lol) Clemson to 185 yards, that's their best defensive showing excluding the 120 yards they gave up to Campbell. Also lol. My concern comes from the other side; in an effort to keep Herbert fresh, Blackshear, Holston and King get plenty of run and Herbert gets lots of time on the sidelines to practice his coordinated dance moves with other backs. THEN...I remembered that Hendon Hooker was not only playing but CARRYING the ball while the Hokies held an insurmountable lead late in a game. So the Hokies offensive staff maybe hasn't cottoned on yet to protecting their best players at necessary times. Plus, Herbert just likes to run real far real fast, so who's to say he doesn't top 120 in the 1st quarter? OVER!

Over / Under: 0.5 Combined Snaps for Braxton Burmeister and Quincy Patterson

Joey: Hendon Hooker firmly cemented himself as the best quarterback on the roster in his first start of 2020, so this line comes down to how you see the Wake game playing out. Does an old-fashioned Big 12 shootout break out in Winston-Salem, with the Hokies linebackers running themselves out of plays and a young secondary losing one-on-one battles on the outside? Or do the Hokies lay the hammer on an overmatched Demon Deacon defense while the D gets enough stops (gifts?) to turn the second half into a nationally regionally somewhat televised scrimmage? I think it falls somewhere in between, so I'll go under and roll with Hooker to gobble up every snap.

The Fifth Fuller: My "Keep em Guessing" offensive strategery was wrong. Not only did they not give Hooker a breather at any point, they refused to put in a backup when the game was out of hand (see bitching in above answer). But calling the over on half a snap? I feel like the Wake game could potentially get out of hand even earlier than BC did, though I doubt we see five turnovers again. Adding to that, Hooker is not a slider, man will take a hit in order to get that first down. One bad hit and he's gotta come out for a snap. The safe bet here is the over.

Most Receptions: Tre Turner, James Mitchell, Tayvion Robinson or the Field

Joey: I added 'the Field' to this line for a reason — it's time to get crazy! Tre Turner's mysterious injury (teammate induced concussion scare?) doomed this line for me yet again, so I'm casting a wider net with the field this week.

Does Raheem Blackshear in the slot finally get unveiled? Maybe!

Does the Biletnikoff hype for Kaleb Smith continue? Unlikely, but possible!

Does Evan Fairs get to do something other than block? Doubtful!

Does Changa Hodge actually play...

OK, you get the drift. Field in an upset.

The Fifth Fuller: Where did Kaleb Smith come from?! And he led the team in receptions while racking up...16 receiving yards. I'm concerned about whatever's going on with Turner, so I'm staying away from him. I have a hunch that I should flip to James Mitchell for this game, but Tayvion Robinson has established a solid pattern of alternating between 4 and 2 receptions. Until he breaks that, I'm running with it; he's due for a 4 reception game! Sticking with what's working (sometimes).

Over / Under: 2.5 turnovers forced by Virginia Tech's defense

Joey: While I could watch Boston College waste dominating first quarter drives with unforced turnovers on an endless loop, even I can admit BC gifting Tech with 5 turnovers last week felt a bit like waking up from a 2 rails night at TOTS without a hangover. Sure, I'll gladly take it, but the mature part of me knows I don't deserve it.

Flash-forward into my mid-20's, and I've now learned several times over that you don't get lucky two weekends in a row. There's only two options: stay in, or get ready for a Sunday morning from hell. In football terms, play better defense, or give up 50 and head to the message boards.

I'll go with Option B. Under.

The Fifth Fuller: I'm conflicted here. Boston College was handing out gifts like cash flying out of a broken ATM. No way that dumb luck can last. On the other hand, Wake Forest has a combined one (1) turnover this year. Total. That does seem to be a focus of Dave Clawson, as they've given up the ball more than twice only 5 times going back through the 2017 season. So I don't think Wake is going to escape with no turnovers again, but I don't see their miserliness combined with the Hokies Jekyll and Hyde defense getting to more than 2.5 turnovers. Under.

Dealer's Choice: Name Tech's Uniform Combo

Joey: It's been a quiet week on Uniform twitter, which likely signals the Hokies are going traditional this weekend. That means the classic maroon helmets (can't wear white lids 3 weeks in a row, this a hard and fast rule that can not be broken) and presumably white jerseys, so the line comes down to the pants. Not to cop-out and agree with The Fifth Fuller to safeguard my 3-point lead, but I think the Hokies go white pants to showcase their fifth unique combo in as many games. It's what the recruits want, and Lord knows they need help recruiting!

Maroon-white-white.

The Fifth Fuller: I'm going to apply some logic here, as I am famous on this website for doing. First of all, we rarely see white helmets more than twice in a season, and we've already gotten two white helmets so far. So let's go maroon helmets. White shirts are likely a given here, unless orange jerseys are enough of a contrast with black Wake jerseys, but it APPEARS that all orange uniform components have been locked in a vault. So white jerseys. And we GENERALLY see a few white on white looks per season, but the Hokies seem to do better when they rock the maroon helmet, which we've already established they are wearing. So, yeah, Maroon helmets, white jersey, white pants.

Disclaimer: This column was written on Wednesday evening, prior to the official uniform release on social media (obviously).

The Joey Coogan Memorial "Navy Hits the Over" Lock of the Week.

Joey: Alabama just beat Georgia by 17. Tennessee just lost to Kentucky by 27, at one point tossing pick sixes on consecutive drives within 140 seconds of gametime. (They also screwed me on the over, but we'll leave that for another day).

This might be a bit of a trap given the prior week performances (shut up, law of averages people), but I just don't see how quarterback-less Tennessee keeps pace with the best offense in college football.

Roll Tide (-21).

The Fifth Fuller: B1G TEN BAK, BABY! And if you think I'm dumb enough to bet on any of it, well...you've probably read my work in the past. You fail to take into account that I am also a sucker for throwing good money after bad. The 'Eers missed covering on Kansas by ONE POINT, which I feel like they did just to personally spite me. HOWEVER. Kansas is heading up to Manhattan, where they have won a single solitary time since Taylor Swift was born. Kansas State, favored by 20, has ripped off three straight conference wins after inexplicably dropping their opener to Arkansas St. Kansas, after VERY explicably losing their opener to Coastal Carolina by 15, have proceeded to get blown out by three conference opponents. I'm picking the Wildcats to avenge the 2008 Orange Bowl.

Spread: Virginia Tech -9

Joey: This is a 'don't overthink it' game. Virginia Tech is the superior team with superior players. Wake probably keeps it close for a while until Tech's defense can string together a few stops, but ultimately I think the Hokies pull away late for another convincing victory.

The Fifth Fuller: This one's easy for me. I pick the Hokies to cover the spread, they do not, including the bright idea to start a long distance road race with North Carolina with half a tank of gas. I pick the Hokies to NOT cover the spread, they blow BC away, aided by several unexpected deliveries from the turnover fairy. NO WAY the Hokies can cover 10 points against a solid Wake Forest team.

Disclaimer: Some of these are real betting lines, but many of them are fake and none of this is real advice that should be taken seriously.